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What would you complain about to a sex therapist? 

Screen Shot 2015-10-20 at 10.06.09 PMThe Huffington Post recently published an article called “10 Complaints Sex Therapists Hear All the Time,” which included the advice they give couples in their offices. Intrigued by the headline, I read it. After all, I love hearing about other people’s problems so I can feel better about my own. (Who doesn’t?) While Sven and I are nowhere close to visiting a sex therapist, I will share our #1 sex complaint: we peak at different times of day, which means that usually one of us is having sleepy, lazy sex.

For example, Sven is ready to go first thing in the morning, typically on weekends. I’m basically a zomboid kitten – I just want to cuddle in and out of consciousness before reluctantly being forced to get on with my day. When I don’t just outright swipe a claw at him and tell him to put it away for later, I succumb to his advances (after all, he is super sexy) and lazily let him do me. I’m far from being an active seductress. It’s still fun, but I’m not in peak form!

On the flip side, I’ll get in the mood once we climb into bed together at night. It’s my favorite part of the day, and having Sven’s hot, warm body after a long day at work is the perfect nightcap. But for Sven, climbing into bed at night essentially means “Game Over.” Now, I am the active seductress and Sven is what he would call a dead herring (I guess that’s a Swedish term). When he doesn’t just tell me to “save it for tomorrow” and pass out leaving me frustrated, he’ll agree to a quickie so that everyone goes to bed happy.

This means that we almost always have zomboid kitten/dead herring sex. Always fun, but never optimal. Sure, we probably have sex more often than most people, but we could definitely prioritize both quality and quantity!

Now back to the HuffPost article, here are the top complaints from couples seeking help:

  1. I cant orgasm the real way
  2. We have mismatched sexual desires
  3. I’m having performance issues
  4. I want to spice up our sex life, but my partner isn’t interested
  5. We want to get back to having “before baby” sex
  6. I have a lower sex drive than my wife
  7. I have a lower sex drive than my husband
  8. I want to feel more emotionally connected to my partner
  9. My partner is ill, but we still want to keep our sex life active
  10. We’re stuck in a sexless marriage

Read the full article, along with the therapists’ advice here. What would you complain about if you saw a sex therapist?!


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Shhh - 11/02/2015 - 9:42 pm

I would complain that my significant other’s equipment is too large to try certain things, but that would be like complaining that my diamond shoes are too tight.

Melanie - 11/02/2015 - 11:18 pm

Hahaha! Well, it’s a valid concern. Sven and I keep it relatively traditional in the bedroom and I still find some positions too painful or uncomfortable…so diamond shoes do have their flaws, even if they are pretty 😉

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