Masthead header

UPDATE: Sven and I are not sexually compatible

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how Sven and I are not sexually compatible: he’s a morning person that hates late-night sex, and I’m a night owl that hates morning sex. Obviously, something’s gotta give here, so Sven and I have been trying to do a better job of improving our sex life, with mixed results. It all started with Sven’s idea to alternate the burden of responsibility for prioritizing sex…

Basically, it goes like this: when it’s his “turn,” he is completely responsible for initiating sex. I’m not allowed to initiate at all. When he exercises his turn, I have to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. And when it’s over, then it becomes my turn and the same rules apply. I thought it was a great idea. First of all, I was thrilled that Sven actually suggested a plan! Secondly, it would force us to really focus on prioritizing sex. No problem, right?

Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 2.59.09 AM

It wasn’t, until about the third time that Sven exercised his turn. It was late at night on a weeknight, so I’m excited that he’s chosen my time zone, and I’m raring to go.

“What do you want to do for your turn?” I asked excitedly.

“I want a blow job.”

That’s your turn? You don’t need a turn for a blow job.”

“Really? So I get another turn then?”



“But wait a sec, I thought this taking turns thing supposed to be about prioritizing sex for both of us. You know I love giving blow jobs, but I just want to clarify the rules here.”

“No, this was about each of us getting sex when we want it and how we want it, regardless of what the other person wants. That way we can’t complain if we’re too tired.”

“Hmm, that doesn’t sound like it’s in the spirit of improving our relationship, it seems like it’s a way to force each other to have sex with one another. I thought this was about improving the quality of our sex life.”

“And that’s why you used your last two turns after midnight?”

“It’s after midnight right now…”

“That’s why I just want a blow job!”

Ok, so…on the plus side, we’d been having consistent, no-complaints sex. On the minus side, Sven didn’t get a blow job that night (I was happy to do it, in fact, I really wanted to – it was prime time for me – but our little side convo killed his mood, and he fell asleep immediately. Sorry Sven!)

However, a BIG positive is that right now we’re on vacation in sunny, laid-back Southern California. And this means vacation sex. It’s the best. We’ll deal with everything else later. đŸ™‚

photo (56)

Go back to My So-Called Perfect Marriage Homepage


Your email is never published or shared.