I’ve been putting this post off for at least a month, finding reasons to procrastinate. I hate giving up and admitting I can’t do all the things I want to do simultaneously. I tried to give myself a break when I wrote this post the last time I was feeling overwhelmed, but this is an especially tough one to admit:
I need to take some time away from writing here, maybe for a few weeks, maybe longer. I’m excited about exploring a new opportunity that I’ve been considering for a while, but the reality is that I’m scared (the good kind of scared, I think). I do hope I’m able to share it with you all here someday as part of my journey.
When I started this blog in October of 2011, I was in a pretty crappy place in life, despite being engaged to marry the love of my life, Sven. Starting this blog was a kickstart of sorts, and it provided me with the inspiration and outlet for self-discovery that led to some of the happiest years of my life. I would not say that I’m anywhere close to being in as bad of a place as I was back then, but let’s just say that 2016 so far hasn’t exactly been the greatest year ever. After all, it started with a bout of flumonia (flu + pneumonia). Life is cyclical, and it can’t always be smooth sailing, so I guess I was about overdue for a rough patch. However, I am a firm believer in that life’s greatest moments emerge from periods of darkness.
Full disclosure: I am not trying to be melodramatic here. Sven and I have our health, jobs, families, a beach house that we can finally move into on Memorial Day weekend (YAY!), and most importantly, each other. I’ve been through the sickness and death of my father, the deaths of dear friends, and where I am now is nowhere even close to that level of darkness. There are many, many things I am extremely grateful for in this life. So I guess it’s more accurate to say I’m in a period of “dullness.” Not feeling myself, thinking negative thoughts, constantly tired and overwhelmed, ready to shut down. The batteries are nearly empty.
I think that life sometimes throws simple challenges our way so we remember to live, and to not take anything for granted. Perhaps my biggest fear in life is letting life happen to me rather than truly living and making the most out of what I am capable. That means taking action! And what I’ve decided to do to get myself out of this “dull cycle” requires a significant time investment on top of my increasingly demanding job. I’m sorry I can’t share exactly what it is at the moment. (I’m dying to! I’m just paranoid.)
Ok, so I’m not really giving up on writing, I’m just pulling back and re-prioritizing. But after over 4.5 years of being dedicated to writing for this blog, it does make me feel disappointed in myself to have to sacrifice something I’ve created and invested in. The good news is that I’ll still post when inspired, just not on a weekly or regular basis. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…thank you for reading this, supporting me, and sticking with me. Now go on and live your fabulous life!