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    General musings, observations, advice, and more...

Category Archives: Relationships

The opportunity behind rejection

Today I’m sharing a TED Talk that literally blew me away. The speaker is Jia Jiang – entrepreneur, blogger, and author of Rejection Proof. I won’t spoil it for you, but the premise is this: After Jiang received a crushing rejection from a potential investor, he decided to channel his fear of rejection by facing […]

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Will your marriage end in divorce? (Statistically speaking)

Life has been insanely chaotic lately, and unfortunately my blog writing frequency has suffered as a result. I could not go more than two weeks in a row without posting anything though…I’m trying really hard to keep the few routines I’ve managed to stick to! Now, I’m travelling for work, with little time and lacking […]

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Is it his?

On a recent visit to Restoration Hardware, I purchased a few lighting fixtures that weren’t on display in the store and had them shipped to my apartment so I could see them in person before making a selection. I was very clear in my intent to return the ones I didn’t like, which is not […]

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The ENTP + INTJ Relationship

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’m following up on my recent post on how different Myers-Briggs personality types handle relationships by sharing my own experiences as an ENTP married to an INTJ. NTs just “get” each other. There are four basic temperaments that determine how you fundamentally process information, and how you make decisions based on […]

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Eat to live or live to eat?

Sven and I are back to reality after our wonderful week in Kauai. It really is one of the most gorgeous places we’ve ever visited, and highly recommend it (seriously, send me a message if you want to know more)! We loved the active lifestyle and shared so many fun adventures like hiking an 8 […]

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How does your personality type deal with relationships?

For the past few years, I’ve been pretty obsessed with Myers-Briggs personality type. The more I learn about it, the more I’m convinced that understanding it is a complete game-changer in terms of how to interact with people – friends, coworkers, family, and of course, Sven. There’s a ton of information about Myers-Briggs on the […]

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Attention young, ambitious women: Marriage is a career decision

Last month, I was asked to be on a career panel at an event for undergraduate women at NYU, my alma mater. The theme of the event was “Projecting Your Authentic Self,” and the panel consisted of six professional women across various industries and levels of experience. One of the questions we were asked was: […]

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The best fourth birthday present

Today is my blog’s fourth birthday! On October 24th, 2011, I wrote my very first blog post and began an adventure that I had no idea where it would take me (much like when I first met Sven in Thailand!). Four years later, my first article for The Huffington Post has been published! The timing is […]

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29 vs. 31 – A young woman’s story

As a follow-up to my last post about whether or not women should settle if they want to have kids, today I’m sharing this video from comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates. They play the same woman – one at age 29 and the other at age 31. It’s not directly related to “settling,” but it […]

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Should you settle if you want to have kids?

I was having a conversation with an old friend recently about how women start to settle as they get older. At 25, the world is your oyster. You are a young, hot piece of ass, and there are so many men to choose from. You’re not so concerned with whether or not they’re marriage material, […]

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First textual experience with Aziz Ansari

I wish this post was about my first textual experience with comedian Aziz Ansari, because I adore him and really want to be his friend. And if we were friends, we would text each other food porn and food-related emojis ALL THE TIME. Alas, this post is about Aziz’s book Modern Romance (yes, we’re on a first […]

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The 6 Secrets of Couples Who Stick Together Forever

What a great post title, huh?! I can’t take credit for it. Today, I’m sharing an article from HuffPost Women that was originally featured on Grandparents.com. (Who do you think reads Grandparents.com? I no longer have grandparents, but if I did, I would ask them!) As an added bonus, I’ve included my two cents as well. As […]

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Maria & Jani’s So-Called Perfect “Marriage”

This month’s so-called perfect couple is not actually married, but by Swedish standards, they basically are. It’s the norm (not just common, but actually the norm) to not get married in Sweden and raise a family just as if you are. Imagine a country full of Goldie Hawns and Kurt Russells with their ridiculously good-looking babies. Americans are […]

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Happy Pride!

June 26, 2015 marked a day in American history that many of those who believe in love will never forget when the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. For those of you who may not have read it yet (I realize I’m slow in posting this), I wanted to share the moving, perfect final paragraph […]

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Marshmallow and Lilypad’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

Ok, I am in love with this month’s so-called married couple. I know them through a dear mutual friend, and while we don’t know each other that well, after reading their Q&A for my blog, I’m all “WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?!? like The Cable Guy. I laughed, I cried, and I laughed again while […]

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11 “Right” Reasons to Get Married

I recently discovered BlogHer.com, a community of female bloggers that write about pretty much every topic under the sun. Not only do I love the supportive sense of community amongst fellow female bloggers, but I also enjoy the unique insights and perspectives of the contributors – many of whom are women just like me! Today, […]

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Leia & Han Solo’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

This month’s so-called married couple is an inspiration to all those who want to “have it all.” Han Solo, 38, and his beautiful wife, Leia, 35, have amazing careers, a super-cute baby, and a wonderful marriage. And they have sick-ass bodies since they also happen to be seriously competitive athletes. But my favorite thing about these […]

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The totally weird, unsexy, yet endearing things we do

When you’ve been together for 11 years, you get kind of comfortable, and that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be fun, and even endearing. Others might call it weird. In the spirit of putting it all out there, here are five “strange” behaviors that Sven and I occasionally engage in: 1. Squeezing […]

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Three mental barriers to having a baby

A few months ago, I wrote about not wanting to have kids, but also not necessarily not wanting them, either. I’m not opposed to having kids, but I’m also not gung-ho about having them. Sven thought I was overthinking the whole thing, but to me the whole point was that the decision to have kids […]

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Leigh and Tom’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

The saying “the couple that plays together, stays together” couldn’t be more true than for this month’s so-called perfect married couple, Leigh, 32, and Tom, 41. They first met at a rock climbing gym (how cool is that?), and they still go rock climbing regularly, both at the gym and all over the world! These […]

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Don’t feel guilty for your imagination

Yesterday, I posted a video of a TED talk by Esther Perel, who discusses the secret to desire in a long-term relationship. If you haven’t already, check it out. Today, I’m sharing my biggest takeaway from her talk: don’t feel guilty for your imagination, because your imagination is the key to your erotic intelligence. When […]

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Why marriage spells disaster for eroticism

One of my readers sent me this video of a TED Talk by Esther Perel. She is the bestselling author of Mating in Captivity, which explores the paradox between lust and love. Admittedly, I didn’t know who she was before I saw this video, but according to her Wikipedia page, she trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy […]

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Beyoncé and Jay Z’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

In case you missed the first one, this post is part of a new monthly segment featuring some of the most incredible and inspiring so-called perfect marriages I know.  This month features Manhattan supercouple Beyoncé and Jay Z, both 31. Yes, I know Beyoncé and Jay Z personally, and they really are that fabulous. Bey Bey […]

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This is going to be the best Valentine’s day EVER

WARNING: You’re about to read the sappiest, most lovey-dovey shit I’ve ever written. If you’ve been following my blog for the past three years, you know that Valentine’s Day is kiiiinda a sore topic in our relationship. Three years ago, I watched The Biggest Loser while Sven went to the gym, and then I wrote […]

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Danielle & Matt’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

After 3.25 years of writing about my so-called perfect marriage, I’m introducing a new segment featuring other amazing, wonderful, inspiring, so-called perfect marriages. What is a so-called perfect marriage anyway? It’s a marriage between two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. It’s been an honor to get a sneak peek into the lives, […]

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An historic day…

The title of this post is an inside joke I share with my coworkers, none of who will ever read this because I don’t share my blog with anyone I work with. (Kiiiinda awkward for them to be able to read about my marriage.) However, this post is about my career, a topic I rarely […]

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Hot-Crazy Matrix

Today’s post is courtesy of Sven. Sven is an avid YouTube viewer. He watches it whenever he wants to learn “how to” do something (he credits it for perfecting his tie-tying skills), for watching documentaries about random topics (i.e. the construction of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona), and of course, for the pure joy of mindless […]

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New Year’s Goals

Here’s that first post of the year where bloggers are digging themselves back out from the holiday break, overwhelmed and under-inspired, so they throw together a lame list of cliche New Year’s resolutions as if you actually care to read about them and call it a “New Year’s post.” Happy New Year, everyone! In all […]

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2014 Roundup!

I don’t think there’s ever been a year where I said, “this was the longest year ever.” It always seems that the holidays creep up on us, and we’re amazed at how quickly the year has gone by. This year is no exception – it doesn’t seem like it’s been a full year since my blog […]

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Procrastinator’s Holiday Gift Guide

This year marks the eleventh (!) Christmas Sven and I are sharing together (and 10 years since Sven first set foot in the United States in December 2004)! Between all those Christmases, we’ve also celebrated 22 birthdays, 16 anniversaries, and 1.5 Valentine’s Days. After all these years and occasions, it can sometimes be hard to […]

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He said, she said…

Sven and I could not be more different when it comes to our argument styles: I have a sharp tongue, am prone to yelling, and calm down almost as quickly as I blow up. I get over it quickly. On the other hand, Sven prefers to argue with calm, cryptic assertions, if not simply deafening […]

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Give and you shall not receive

I met with a mentor of mine recently to talk about work: my goals, challenges, aspirations, etc. Even though I love my job, it’s still the area of my life where I feel the most insecurity. However, my mentor threw me for a loop when he offered his advice: “It’s not really your job where […]

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I stopped making my husband prove that he loves me

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but some time ago I stopped making Sven prove that he loves me. What do I mean? Well, I guess some people would call it “testing” their guy to see if he makes the right decision, thereby proving that he loves you. For example, a few years ago, […]

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Poll: Moving in before the ring?

This week’s post comes from a reader-inspired question: What’s your opinion on moving in together before being engaged? I had always thought it was necessary to do a trial run before getting engaged, but after two failed relationships where I moved in with my exes relatively soon, I’m thinking about waiting it out. Except my […]

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Testing the waters of home ownership

Sven and I have officially started the process towards becoming homeowners. No, we’re not expecting, and no, we’re not planning on moving out to the suburbs. In fact, there was no specific catalyst for our home search – it was an idea that just snowballed! I guess it all started with a feeling that we […]

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7 habits of people who will never be married

…excluding those that don’t want to be married. Just a few general observations mostly for entertainment purposes, please don’t take me too seriously – unless, of course, you exhibit several of these habits. 😉 1. They’re uninteresting. Most people meet because they share a common interest, like running, traveling, rock climbing, playing soccer, etc. But […]

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I don’t want to be the sole breadwinner

I’ve been reading a lot of stuff lately about how female breadwinners are becoming increasingly common and how this is changing both the corporate landscape (more women at the top) and the traditional family landscape (more stay-at-home dads). The benefits are well-documented: more female breadwinners mean more women at the top of organizations, and more […]

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We like to do our own thing

Sven and I are very different. He’s calm, I’m temperamental. He’s messy, I’m neat. He likes it quiet, and I like to shout…but when we get together it just all works out… (Paula Abdul, anyone?) Anyway, our interests are particularly divergent in the winter because he loves the snow, and I hate it. HATE. IT! […]

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I question my marriage regularly

I question my marriage all the time. When Sven and I get into a fight because he’s so stubborn it pisses me off to the point of throwing things of across the room, I ask myself if it’s possible for us to peacefully coexist. When I feel disappointed because Sven doesn’t spoil me with presents […]

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The best thing I’ve read lately…

I’m probably way behind the bandwagon here, but I recently discovered the blog Forty Days of Dating, which is exactly what it sounds like. Two friends, Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman, decide to date each other for forty days and blog about it every single day along the way. It’s a cross between typical NYC […]

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How do you prepare meals when you don’t eat the same food?

I need to end my relationship with Seamless Web. (For those who don’t know, it’s online food delivery website with an extremely easy-to-use ordering app.) I’m trying to prepare more home cooked meals as part of an effort to be healthier, lose some weight, and save money. All valiant goals. The only problem is that […]

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Sven and I are proud to support gay marriage!

My dear friend Larry Tantay does a tremendous amount of work supporting causes that affect the gay community through his organization APICHA, which specifically advocates Asians, Pacific Islanders, and LGBT individuals living with HIV/AIDS. When Larry asked Sven and me if we would be around to march with him and APICHA in this year’s NYC […]

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Girls don’t really want to hear the truth

I have a lot of girl friends, but I’ve never been a girls’ girl. This may possibly be because I was primarily raised by my father, who was one of the least sensitive men you’d ever meet. Whenever I would cry as a child, he would yell at me, not because he didn’t care, but […]

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Five things I’ve learned in my first year of marriage

Not to sound cliche, but I honestly can’t believe how quickly the time has flown by since our wedding day. It blows my mind that it’s already been an entire year. My neighbor, who’s been married 43 years, said that the years just go by faster as you get older, and I certainly hope that’s […]

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Be the crazy one

I love these snarky e-cards by someecards.com, and this particular one inspired today’s post because being the crazy one totally worked out for me. I’m definitely the crazy one in my marriage. I’ve written about this before (in my series of posts about how Sven and I ended up together), and I wrote about the […]

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How to get an engagement ring that’s worth the cost of a car

I may be well past the stage of having to negotiate about an engagement ring, but that didn’t stop me from reading this Financial Samurai blog post about the “Car Rule for Engagement Ring Buying.” (Great blog about personal financial planning, by the way.) The basic premise is that, ladies – you are entitled to […]

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A visual commentary on 30’s social life

Here’s one way Swedes and Americans are actually similar…. Sven is a numbers and charts kind of guy. Last week, he sent me this graphical representation of activities people find fun throughout their lives. (It’s supposed to be a comic.) It’s in Swedish, so you’ll find the translation below: For my English-speaking friends: The graph […]

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Sven is not his real name. Neither is Honey.

If you haven’t read this blog from the very beginning, or you don’t know me personally, you may not know that Sven is not my husband’s real name. I don’t call him Sven. I call him Honey. When I’m feeling really sweet, I’ll call him Honey Bear, but usually it’s “How was work, Honey?” or […]

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