Masthead header
  • Imperfections

    The name of this blog was inspired by our friends always telling us that we're the perfect couple. Sven and I would laugh and say, if only they knew! We're SO different, we fight, disagree, and we're just flat-out flawed. But we don't hide these things to fool people into thinking we're perfect, in fact, this entire page is dedicated to our imperfections! We just try to work together to overcome them. We're just so-called perfect.

Category Archives: Imperfections

The hardest thing to admit about (not) wanting to have kids

I want to start off by saying that I’m writing this because I’ve committed to writing honestly about my marriage, even during the hardest times, or about topics I’m not comfortable being fully honest about. Like this one. I know it’s my blog, and I can write (or not write) about anything I want to, […]

Read full post »

5 Reasons I’m not a good wife

Following last week’s post about how my dad shaped me into the (good) wife that I am, I received a backlash from Sven who said that it wasn’t really my place to say I was a good wife since only he is my husband and only he can opine on whether I’m a good wife […]

Read full post »

How my dad taught me to be a good wife

Yesterday, my dad would have turned 76 years old. He passed away 10 years ago, and although I don’t talk about him often, I think about him every day. My dad raised me from when I was 7 years old, while my mom worked and was the primary breadwinner in the household. I’ve often attributed […]

Read full post »

The ENTP + INTJ Relationship

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’m following up on my recent post on how different Myers-Briggs personality types handle relationships by sharing my own experiences as an ENTP married to an INTJ. NTs just “get” each other. There are four basic temperaments that determine how you fundamentally process information, and how you make decisions based on […]

Read full post »

Eat to live or live to eat?

Sven and I are back to reality after our wonderful week in Kauai. It really is one of the most gorgeous places we’ve ever visited, and highly recommend it (seriously, send me a message if you want to know more)! We loved the active lifestyle and shared so many fun adventures like hiking an 8 […]

Read full post »

2016 Goals

Happy New Year! Another year, another set of new goals to fail following through on. I’m saying this because I just read my post from last year – my 2015 New Year’s Goals – and I failed to achieve most of them. In the interest of making you feel better for your failed goals, I’ll […]

Read full post »

Role Reversal

This past summer, I documented our temporary DIY beach house “renovation.” Now, winter is almost upon us, and we are right in the thick of the permanent renovation. It looks like this:               This is our first time renovating anything, and countless people have joked it is a true […]

Read full post »

Attention young, ambitious women: Marriage is a career decision

Last month, I was asked to be on a career panel at an event for undergraduate women at NYU, my alma mater. The theme of the event was “Projecting Your Authentic Self,” and the panel consisted of six professional women across various industries and levels of experience. One of the questions we were asked was: […]

Read full post »

What would you complain about to a sex therapist? 

The Huffington Post recently published an article called “10 Complaints Sex Therapists Hear All the Time,” which included the advice they give couples in their offices. Intrigued by the headline, I read it. After all, I love hearing about other people’s problems so I can feel better about my own. (Who doesn’t?) While Sven and […]

Read full post »

I can’t do it all

Call it a post-vacation hangover, or a case of the Mondays, but reality has set back in. Summer is over, it’s “back-to-school” mode – even at work, and I’m feeling sluggish to get back into the grind. When I think of all the things I want to do to get back in it, I realize […]

Read full post »

Sven plans a vacation…sort of

The beginning of September usually marks the end of summer, but for us, it’s the beginning of our two-week vacation. Now, we’re in Sweden staying with Sven’s parents on the beautiful island of Skaftö. This weekend, we’re headed to Arvika, Sweden’s only inland fjord (thanks, Wikipedia!) for a wedding. Next week, we’re off to Paris for […]

Read full post »

My husband is mean to me in public

You know that saying, “You never know what happens behind closed doors…”? Well, I can tell you what happens behind closed doors in my household. Sven is the sweetest, cutest, most affectionate husband ever. He loves to cuddle and draws hearts on me (with his finger, not a pen), tickles my feet (I’m weird and […]

Read full post »

Marshmallow and Lilypad’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

Ok, I am in love with this month’s so-called married couple. I know them through a dear mutual friend, and while we don’t know each other that well, after reading their Q&A for my blog, I’m all “WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?!? like The Cable Guy. I laughed, I cried, and I laughed again while […]

Read full post »

The totally weird, unsexy, yet endearing things we do

When you’ve been together for 11 years, you get kind of comfortable, and that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be fun, and even endearing. Others might call it weird. In the spirit of putting it all out there, here are five “strange” behaviors that Sven and I occasionally engage in: 1. Squeezing […]

Read full post »

A daily dose of Headspace

One of my goals this year was to develop better routines. I’m terrible at routines. I always try them, but they rarely stick. For example, I tried to stick to a daily vitamin habit – I even bought one of those old lady pill organizers from CVS that have the days of the week written […]

Read full post »

Three mental barriers to having a baby

A few months ago, I wrote about not wanting to have kids, but also not necessarily not wanting them, either. I’m not opposed to having kids, but I’m also not gung-ho about having them. Sven thought I was overthinking the whole thing, but to me the whole point was that the decision to have kids […]

Read full post »

Danielle & Matt’s So-Called Perfect Marriage

After 3.25 years of writing about my so-called perfect marriage, I’m introducing a new segment featuring other amazing, wonderful, inspiring, so-called perfect marriages. What is a so-called perfect marriage anyway? It’s a marriage between two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. It’s been an honor to get a sneak peek into the lives, […]

Read full post »

Hot-Crazy Matrix

Today’s post is courtesy of Sven. Sven is an avid YouTube viewer. He watches it whenever he wants to learn “how to” do something (he credits it for perfecting his tie-tying skills), for watching documentaries about random topics (i.e. the construction of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona), and of course, for the pure joy of mindless […]

Read full post »

New Year’s Goals

Here’s that first post of the year where bloggers are digging themselves back out from the holiday break, overwhelmed and under-inspired, so they throw together a lame list of cliche New Year’s resolutions as if you actually care to read about them and call it a “New Year’s post.” Happy New Year, everyone! In all […]

Read full post »

The fear of being ordinary

Last week, I wrote about whether being in a happy marriage was killing my ambition. I’ve been thinking about this a lot since then, about what exactly is holding me back from doing more “extraordinary” things in life, as well as why I can’t shake the feeling that I should be doing “more” even though […]

Read full post »

Does being in a happy relationship make you less ambitious?

Regardless of how much I may have accomplished by the age of 31, I feel constantly – even obsessively – pressured by the things I haven’t done. (See: Writing my first novel, starting a business, developing passive income streams so I no longer have to work, turning this blog into a book/movie/internet sensation.) There’s this […]

Read full post »

When you don’t not want to have kids…

…but you don’t really want to have them, either… A conversation Sven and I had recently: Me: Are you ready to have a baby? Sven: I’m 35. I could have a 10 year old child by now. Me: Ok, but if you didn’t feel like you should be ready just because you’re old, do you […]

Read full post »

He said, she said…

Sven and I could not be more different when it comes to our argument styles: I have a sharp tongue, am prone to yelling, and calm down almost as quickly as I blow up. I get over it quickly. On the other hand, Sven prefers to argue with calm, cryptic assertions, if not simply deafening […]

Read full post »

Sex O’Clock

Below is the transcript of a post I wrote almost two years ago, when Sven and I made a concerted effort to prioritize having sex, with a 2014 update at the finish…. Making Time for Sexy Time – November 29, 2011 Like everyone else, we’re always busy. Between work, errands, commitments, seeing friends, family, and […]

Read full post »

Does everyone think I’m pregnant?

Over a year and a half ago, I posted about my Office Baby Watch: 2013. To summarize, a colleague and good friend at work announced her pregnancy and was summarily greeted by several coworkers who announced, “I knew it!” (For the record, I couldn’t tell, nor was it on my radar to watch for it.) […]

Read full post »

We wish our parents taught us to be rich

Sven and I spent out in our twenties (well, my 20’s – Sven is four years older). We travelled a lot, got engaged, married, and had a blow-out honeymoon in the Maldives. As a result, our bank accounts were also blown out, so we resolved to aggressively save during our (my) 30’s. Now that we’ve […]

Read full post »

Give and you shall not receive

I met with a mentor of mine recently to talk about work: my goals, challenges, aspirations, etc. Even though I love my job, it’s still the area of my life where I feel the most insecurity. However, my mentor threw me for a loop when he offered his advice: “It’s not really your job where […]

Read full post »

I want to get things done now

Quite a few people have been asking me lately how our beach home hunt has been going. A couple of months ago, I posted about putting an offer on a house, which was accepted…and then un-accepted. The experience definitely sucked some fun out of the experience. Unfortunately, I don’t have any better news. A month ago, […]

Read full post »

e-PDA: Do or don’t?

Last week, I wrote about how I no longer make Sven prove he loves me by testing to see if he’d be willing to go to the ends of the earth to please me. But how about the Internet? A couple of years ago, at 11:42pm on my birthday, I asked: “How come you haven’t posted […]

Read full post »

I stopped making my husband prove that he loves me

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but some time ago I stopped making Sven prove that he loves me. What do I mean? Well, I guess some people would call it “testing” their guy to see if he makes the right decision, thereby proving that he loves you. For example, a few years ago, […]

Read full post »

Grading our parents

Sven and I were out to dinner a couple of weeks ago and somehow got on the topic of how well our parents raised us. Sven asked me, “On a scale from 1-100, where would you rank your parents?” I thought for a moment and said, “90.” “90?! That’s generous considering you have no feelings. […]

Read full post »

My girl never shuts up (says “Sven”)

People always ask me how Sven feels about me airing our dirty laundry on the internet, and I tell them that he’s an avid reader of my blog and is a really good sport about it. Sometimes he does tell me that I’ve been a little evil, or that my opinions are one-sided. So, I […]

Read full post »

I don’t want to be the sole breadwinner

I’ve been reading a lot of stuff lately about how female breadwinners are becoming increasingly common and how this is changing both the corporate landscape (more women at the top) and the traditional family landscape (more stay-at-home dads). The benefits are well-documented: more female breadwinners mean more women at the top of organizations, and more […]

Read full post »

Swedish men don’t take care of their women

Because they don’t have to. At least, they don’t think they have to, because they believe that women can and should take care of themselves. The modern Swedish man is a feminist, according to the tourism site visitsweden.se. Sweden has one of the world’s most gender-egalitarian societies, offering equal maternity/paternity leave, childrens’ books featuring characters in unisex clothing, and even a gender-neutral pronoun…

Read full post »

UPDATE: Sven and I are not sexually compatible

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how Sven and I are not sexually compatible: he’s a morning person that hates late-night sex, and I’m a night owl that hates morning sex. Obviously, something’s gotta give here, so Sven and I have been trying to do a better job of improving our sex life, with […]

Read full post »

Sven makes me lazy

I admit it. I’m guilty of husband-induced laziness. The main problem is that I’m a sucker for cuddling, and I would rather cuddle with Sven above all else. I’d rather cuddle in bed than get up early on a Saturday morning. I’d rather cuddle on the couch than clean my apartment. My productivity reaches all-time […]

Read full post »

Sven and I are not sexually compatible

Sven and I don’t have nearly as much sex as we want to be having. He’s probably going to hate that I’m writing about this, but I don’t care. This blog is supposed to be about how my marriage is not perfect despite the fact that we have a crazy amount of love and respect […]

Read full post »

Sven doesn’t like to stroke my ego

I live for positive reinforcement. The best days are when my boss tells me I’ve done a great job at work, when my trainer says I’ve had a kickass workout, or when Sven tells me what a wonderful wife I am. The problem is that Sven doesn’t like to stroke my ego. He’s acutely aware of my yearning […]

Read full post »

Valentine’s Day is probably ruined forever…

I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day, and you can read why here. Last year, Sven and I had agreed to do nothing for Valentine’s Day, but it turned out we had different definitions of “nothing.” Mine: Hang out at home, maybe order in some food, watch TV, cuddle. His: Act as if […]

Read full post »

Name changer: Part 2

Sven and I have been married for nearly seven months now, and I still haven’t officially changed my name. Going into this marriage thing, I knew that it might take me some time to make my way to the Social Security office, but I didn’t actually anticipate being so conflicted about it. Name Changer: Part […]

Read full post »

How to live life to the fullest?

My big New Years’ resolution is, once and for all, to finally get serious about saving money. I’m almost 30, married, with my whole life ahead of me, but I barely have any money saved up. Sure, New York City is expensive, but I’ve made enough money these past eight years that I should have […]

Read full post »

You may say that I’m a dreamer…

…but I’m not the only one. I, and 200 million other Americans, dreamt about what we would do once we won the $550 million Powerball jackpot a few weeks ago. Well, for me it would have been a mere $110 million, since I joined an office pool with four coworkers, but who’s counting? I had […]

Read full post »

Where has all the romance gone?

Is it a bad sign that Sven and I have not even been married for five months, and I’m already blogging about where the romance has gone? 😉 Well, don’t get me wrong, Sven and I have plenty of love – I love him more every day! But romance is another thing entirely, and it […]

Read full post »

Why Sven is the best husband (and brother?) I could ever have

Forget the imperfections for a day….HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!! 🙂 I have actually been meaning to post about how especially wonderful Sven has been lately, but with the hurricane, election, etc., I had been putting it off. This week, I finally have time to finish this post, and it’s actually so fitting because today is […]

Read full post »

Love and Politics

Is it possible to find forever love when you’re in a bipartisan relationship? Can a marriage withstand the tension that arises every four years, as the Presidential debates on television spill into the actual living room? Well, according to a Gallup poll conducted by match.com, 57% of respondents said that they would marry someone with […]

Read full post »

Pros and Cons of being an only child

Whenever I reveal that I’m an only child, I get either, “Oh that explains a lot…” or “Really? You don’t seem like one at all!” Apparently everyone has their own preconceived notion of a stereotypical “only child” personality. While I do think that a lot of my personality can be attributed to being an only […]

Read full post »

Not a soccer wife

Sven loves soccer. He has played ever since he was five years old; in fact, his dad was even the coach. When he first moved to New York, one of the first orders of business was finding a soccer team (or two) to play on. Today, he plays soccer at least twice a week with […]

Read full post »

5 Signs that I’m PMSing According to Sven

Fine, I’ll admit it. I have visible signs of PMS. No, I don’t mean pimples or bloating. More like crankiness and irritability. Over the years, Sven has developed an acute awareness for the onset of said PMS. Sometimes, he even notices before I do (which just makes me even more cranky and irritable that he’s […]

Read full post »

A quirky commonality?

Sven and I were recently at a friend’s party, where we met a decent amount of new people. There were a couple of guys* in particular that we both just thought were complete assholes. [*To protect the guilty parties, their identities have been slightly altered, without materially affecting the point of this post.] The point […]

Read full post »

Team Mel + Sven = An unlikely pair

On the heels of my post yesterday that Sven has no girl friends, Sven said two things: 1) It’s mainly because I share no interests with girls, and I have no interest in being friends with girls 2) If we weren’t in a relationship, we would not be friends! It’s probably true. If we weren’t […]

Read full post »

UA-26579912-1