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  • Family and In-laws

    You can pick your spouse, but you can't pick your in-laws. Here are some posts where I discuss our experiences with each others' in-laws, and how our families have shaped who we are (for better or for worse).

Category Archives: Family

Things not to say to a couple that has lost a pregnancy

I’ve been back at work for a week and a half, and one of the biggest struggles I have is with social anxiety. If you know me, you know that I am a friendly, extroverted person who is generally at ease in most social situations. Also, my job is in sales. So I’m not used […]

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Gifts from our daughter

Preface: I originally started writing this post a couple of weeks ago, when in processing the grief over the recent loss of our baby daughter, I turned to gratitude to find some light. I was having a good day…feeling so much love from my amazing friends, grateful for all the things I am lucky to […]

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How my dad taught me to be a good wife

Yesterday, my dad would have turned 76 years old. He passed away 10 years ago, and although I don’t talk about him often, I think about him every day. My dad raised me from when I was 7 years old, while my mom worked and was the primary breadwinner in the household. I’ve often attributed […]

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Attention young, ambitious women: Marriage is a career decision

Last month, I was asked to be on a career panel at an event for undergraduate women at NYU, my alma mater. The theme of the event was “Projecting Your Authentic Self,” and the panel consisted of six professional women across various industries and levels of experience. One of the questions we were asked was: […]

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Who keeps you up talking all night long?

A couple of weeks ago, I had two college girlfriends over at our beach house for the weekend. Both nights, we stayed up until nearly the crack of dawn, slumber-party style (minus the truth-or-dare), girl talking and catching up on life. Sven was at the house as well, but doing his own thing and went […]

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New Year’s Goals

Here’s that first post of the year where bloggers are digging themselves back out from the holiday break, overwhelmed and under-inspired, so they throw together a lame list of cliche New Year’s resolutions as if you actually care to read about them and call it a “New Year’s post.” Happy New Year, everyone! In all […]

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When you don’t not want to have kids…

…but you don’t really want to have them, either… A conversation Sven and I had recently: Me: Are you ready to have a baby? Sven: I’m 35. I could have a 10 year old child by now. Me: Ok, but if you didn’t feel like you should be ready just because you’re old, do you […]

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We wish our parents taught us to be rich

Sven and I spent out in our twenties (well, my 20’s – Sven is four years older). We travelled a lot, got engaged, married, and had a blow-out honeymoon in the Maldives. As a result, our bank accounts were also blown out, so we resolved to aggressively save during our (my) 30’s. Now that we’ve […]

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Grading our parents

Sven and I were out to dinner a couple of weeks ago and somehow got on the topic of how well our parents raised us. Sven asked me, “On a scale from 1-100, where would you rank your parents?” I thought for a moment and said, “90.” “90?! That’s generous considering you have no feelings. […]

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I hate Mr. Mom

I hate the term “Mr. Mom.” I work in a male-dominated industry where many of my colleagues have stay-at-home wives. Often I’ll hear them talk about how their wives are sick or on a girls’ getaway, so they’re stuck “playing Mr. Mom.” “My wife’s got the flu, so I’m playing Mr. Mom…I guess we’re having […]

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I don’t want to be the sole breadwinner

I’ve been reading a lot of stuff lately about how female breadwinners are becoming increasingly common and how this is changing both the corporate landscape (more women at the top) and the traditional family landscape (more stay-at-home dads). The benefits are well-documented: more female breadwinners mean more women at the top of organizations, and more […]

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The stress of having houseguests

My in-laws have been staying in our 600-square-foot, one-bedroom apartment for the past three weeks. They returned to Sweden yesterday, but there’s no restoring the peace just yet – one of Sven’s friends and his fiancee arrived yesterday and are staying for a week or two (we don’t know exactly how long because it’s dependent […]

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Happy Birthday Dad!

Today would have been my dad’s 72nd birthday. He passed away six years ago after a three-year battle with kidney failure and lung cancer. I think about him almost every day and miss him a lot, and especially wish he was around to see me and Sven get married. My dad was a huge influence […]

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My mom likes him better…

…and his mom likes him better, too.  Well, okay, there is nothing wrong with his mom liking him better. After all, he is her son. But somehow, with my mom, Sven has eclipsed me as her favorite child. It’s even gotten to the point where if we really need to ask her for a favor, […]

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Limitations of a Language Barrier

The most frustrating aspect of my relationship with Sven’s family is the language barrier, and I’m sure they probably feel the same way. Sven’s parents don’t speak very much English, and though I probably know more Swedish than most people expect, I am nowhere near good enough to have a meaningful conversation. Sven’s siblings speak […]

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Could you hate your in-laws?

I can with 99.99% certainty say that Sven and I would not be together today if I didn’t like his family, or if they didn’t like me. I just think, given my own family situation, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’d like to say that love would overcome all obstacles, but I think an antagonistic […]

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Only Child vs. Middle Child

One of the biggest adjustments that Sven and I have had to make is dealing with each others’ family dynamics. Birth order is an interesting thing, because it determines our place within that dynamic, and also shapes how we interact socially. As an only child in a small family, I’m used to the dynamic being […]

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Family week!

This week, I’ve decided to write a little bit about family. Family dynamics come into play in every relationship, and ours is no exception. Sven and I deal with our (and each other’s) families almost every day. It can be a touchy, drama-filled subject (and our families read this blog) so I’ll attempt to tread […]

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Christmas hangover

The best kind of hangover. Every year, it seems that Christmas comes and goes so quickly, and this year was no exception. Sven and I have already hit the after-Christmas sales and bought wrapping paper, ribbons, and new ornaments for next year! Even though it went by in a flash, we enjoyed every moment of […]

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“Your body is trying to tell you something…”

Today, I went to get a facial at the amazing Christine Chin spa. My aesthetician, Hannah, analyzed my skin and asked me how old I was. I told her. She said, “These small pimples on your forehead…they’re hormonal. It’s your body trying to tell you it’s ready to have children.” I laughed! My body might be […]

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