Sven and I were recently at a friend’s party, where we met a decent amount of new people. There were a couple of guys* in particular that we both just thought were complete assholes. [*To protect the guilty parties, their identities have been slightly altered, without materially affecting the point of this post.] The point isn’t to talk shit about people we don’t like, it’s about the fact that in the process of meeting and passing judgement on them, it dawned on us that we tend to assess character quite similarly.
Even though Sven and I had totally separate interactions with these guys, and they really didn’t do or say anything completely egregious, they sort of just…rubbed us both the wrong way. Enough for us to go back to each other and end up comparing notes/war stories! (“Oh, yes, I met that douchebag, too!”) That’s when I said to Sven, “Hey, have you ever noticed that we seem to judge people similarly? We tend to like and dislike the same people.” I gave a few examples, and he agreed that it was generally true and a somewhat interesting point…
It may sound like a weird point to make, but I guess what I’m saying is that it’s interesting to me that we like/dislike the same people, given that Sven and I are such different people ourselves. He’s calm, patient, and reserved, whereas I’m volatile, impatient, and outgoing. He’s great at math and terrible at languages, I’m the complete opposite. I could go on and on. We spend way more time marveling over our differences than we ever realize our similarities (they are so few)…in fact, Sven’s engagement scrapbook had an entire page devoted to how different we are!
So, this whole jerk-off interaction at our friend’s party just got me wondering if our similarities in “character judgement” have to do with what make us compatible with each other. (After all, we are a great match!) I mean, surely it must, though it’s hard to make the connection given our personalities are so different!
Sven had mentioned how it’s a strange coincidence that he and I were raised so similarly, even though we’re from two completely different cultures, and our parents are so different. This is sort of a similar anomaly – it’s difficult to understand how our judgement capabilities grew to be so alike. Just some food for thought to let marinate in my brain.
I’d be interested to hear if you ever “uncovered” a similar quirky commonality with your partner!